And away we go...

So...

I wrote a book and oddly enough, it got published. Apparently I need a blog. All the cool kid's have one, right?

So what do you want to hear? What can I offer that no one else can? I guess I could talk about my book ("The Judas Apocalypse", an amazing, nail-biting, earth-shaking, can't-put-it-down adventure with an ending that will have you questioning everything you were ever taught... no, seriously...)

Or I could talk about the truly abysmal driving abilities of the people in this town (Ottawa Ontario, Canada) and theorize that this country's gun laws are why there are no serious cases of road rage...

Or the state of music these days - why the 1970's had both the very best and the very worst songs EVER...

Let's see...

Anybody out there like old movies? Okay, I'm not talking about anything 5, 10, even 20 years old. If anyone is thinking "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventures" or "Cocktail", stop reading this. Go back to "I Survived a Japanese Game Show." The commercial must be over by now.

I mean classics. Hollywood's Golden Age. With real movie stars. Movies like "The Maltese Falcon," "High Noon," "The Adventures of Robin Hood," "Casablanca". You know, there's a friggin' good reason why the Writer's Guild of America picked the screenplay for "Casablanca" as the best of all time in 2006. Why? It's because it is the best. It's a film that everyone should see, but, goddamn it, many people haven't and that's a damn shame.
Why is that? Is it because it's in black and white? Holy crap, if that's the reason, then that's pretty moronic. Black and white kicks colour's ASS. The way those film noir's were lit and photographed - they are chiaroscuro masterpieces. It's friggin' art, man!

I remember the first time I saw "Casablanca". When the Britannia Six (long gone now) opened, it was one of the first multi-plexes in Ottawa. Theater number 2 was initially intended to be used for retrospectives. It was a chance for people to enjoy classic movies the way they were supposed to be enjoyed - on the big screen. "Casablanca" was the second of a double bill that day, the first being "Angels With Dirty Faces" starring James Cagney, Pat O'Brien and Ann Sheridan. Hoo boy, what a great flick! It was my introduction to the Dead End Kids and to the fantastic Jimmy Cagney. Man, the last scene haunted me for a long time. Still does, as a matter of fact. It's damn hard to watch that scene, even today. I can only imagine how it must've scared the crap out of audiences in 1938, and it's a testament to just what a phenomenal actor Cagney really was.

Watching "Casablanca" that day however, was one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever had. I'm dead serious. Since then, I think I must have seen it dozens of times, and every viewing is an even more rewarding experience than the last.

Every line is a frickin' gem:

Ugarte: You despise me, don't you?
Rick: Well, if I gave you any thought, I probably would.

Captain Renault: Carl, see that Major Strasser gets a good table, one close to the ladies.
Carl: I have already given him the best, knowing he is German and would take it anyway.

Ugarte: I provide them with exit visas.
Rick: For a price, Ugarte, for a price.
Ugarte: But think of all the poor devils who can't meet Renault's price. I get it for them for half. Is that so parasitic?
Rick: I don't mind a parasite. I object to a cut-rate one.

Major Strasser: Are you one of those people who cannot imagine the Germans in their beloved Paris?
Rick: It's not particularly my beloved Paris.
Heinz: Can you imagine us in London?
Rick: When you get there, ask me!
Captain Renault: Hmmh! Diplomatist!
Major Strasser: How about New York?
Rick: Well there are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn't advise you to try to invade.

Just awesome! You can't touch this stuff. Best picture, best screenplay that year. No shit!

Every shot is genius and the performances are legendary. Who can watch the last scene without feeling it in your gut? I was damn lucky. When I got to see it for the first time, it was a pristine print on the big screen. It gave me an appreciation for the classics that to this day I can't possibly shake.

Yeah, I know there's no scenes of a guy banging an apple pie (oh, that's utterly witty and hilarious, ain't it?) and it's not a craptacular computer generated bilge-fest with robots. I gotta say though, thank god for that stuff ...watching that dreck is a little like cleansing the palette. It makes me long for "The Bridge on the River Kwai" that much more.

I actually went to see "Angels and Demons" two weeks ago. Not bad. It was the first time I had set foot in a movie theatre in nine years. Did I miss the experience of watching movies this way?

When the Britannia Six stopped showing the retrospectives, I did.

But that was a long time ago.